ATTITUDE
For those who don't know me, I am going to start with a little personal introduction:
I am a 48-year-old (yikes!) wife and mom of seven. Along with my magnificent 7, I am also now mom-in-law to three son-in-laws that I honestly love like my own children. Our growing family includes two precious grandbabies and counting. I am blessed. I am also tired. Trying to stretch myself in every which direction has gotten to be exhausting.
Which brings me to attitude...
First my attitude- if my attitude is less than positive, my boys’ (my 3 at home under my full time care) attitude suffers. Attitude is contagious. I have a confession to make. I never planned on doing this for 30 years, which is what it will be if I homeschool my youngest to graduation. I honestly thought I would “grow up” and have my own life. I have friends who have done it! They do big girl things like book clubs, luncheons, hold down jobs… I thought that is what I would be doing. So, I have allowed myself to wallow a bit- to stop striving for the best. To stop having that attitude of gratitude when I rise up in the morning.
And, funny thing, my boys have responded in kind. I don’t see gratitude on their faces in the morning either. I feel their resistance to “getting down to it” when I am not wholeheartedly with them. They also feel my weariness. I can see the wheels clicking- “can I push mom a little and have her decide we don’t need to do this?” A wise teacher once said that he has to keep his enthusiasm way up here (holding his hand as far above his head as possible) for his student’s attitude to stay right here (holding his hand at his chest). He realized that the teacher has to give 100% to impart even a fraction of that enthusiasm to his students. I think the same could be said for a mom and her children.
So, I am sharing this with you to also share my commitment to change this attitude. I am not sure exactly how that is going to look. Honestly, this has been going on for while. It is like the frog in the water analogy – I did not realize that the water had heated to boiling until just recently.
I choose my life as it is- with all of its chaos. Maybe I can try a little harder to carve out some friend time- an occasional “luncheon” might be a good thing, but I do, at the heart of it, love what I do here at home and am thankful (ever so thankful!) that I have been blessed to be able to do it!
I am a 48-year-old (yikes!) wife and mom of seven. Along with my magnificent 7, I am also now mom-in-law to three son-in-laws that I honestly love like my own children. Our growing family includes two precious grandbabies and counting. I am blessed. I am also tired. Trying to stretch myself in every which direction has gotten to be exhausting.
Which brings me to attitude...
First my attitude- if my attitude is less than positive, my boys’ (my 3 at home under my full time care) attitude suffers. Attitude is contagious. I have a confession to make. I never planned on doing this for 30 years, which is what it will be if I homeschool my youngest to graduation. I honestly thought I would “grow up” and have my own life. I have friends who have done it! They do big girl things like book clubs, luncheons, hold down jobs… I thought that is what I would be doing. So, I have allowed myself to wallow a bit- to stop striving for the best. To stop having that attitude of gratitude when I rise up in the morning.
And, funny thing, my boys have responded in kind. I don’t see gratitude on their faces in the morning either. I feel their resistance to “getting down to it” when I am not wholeheartedly with them. They also feel my weariness. I can see the wheels clicking- “can I push mom a little and have her decide we don’t need to do this?” A wise teacher once said that he has to keep his enthusiasm way up here (holding his hand as far above his head as possible) for his student’s attitude to stay right here (holding his hand at his chest). He realized that the teacher has to give 100% to impart even a fraction of that enthusiasm to his students. I think the same could be said for a mom and her children.
So, I am sharing this with you to also share my commitment to change this attitude. I am not sure exactly how that is going to look. Honestly, this has been going on for while. It is like the frog in the water analogy – I did not realize that the water had heated to boiling until just recently.
I choose my life as it is- with all of its chaos. Maybe I can try a little harder to carve out some friend time- an occasional “luncheon” might be a good thing, but I do, at the heart of it, love what I do here at home and am thankful (ever so thankful!) that I have been blessed to be able to do it!
Oh this is a great post! I think it is hard to always be content and happy with the current season of life. I have found myself to be in a bit of a humdrum mood lately too, and you are absolutely right that the kids pick up and respond accordingly. I realized I am just plain tired of preschool and a bit anxious for my kids to get older so we can do some more "meaty" projects, but the fact of the matter is that I still have three preschoolers!!! Three more kids that are learning numbers, letters, will learn to read etc.
ReplyDeleteBut, as you say, this is the life we have chosen and we need to do it with JOY!
Lori, you speak for all of us, (but you have been at it longer). Thank you for being candid and honest. This choice can be so dang tough...not all bon-bons like so many people think it is. With that said, it is a cycle and I do encourage you to keep the momentum going in the positive direction. Go out for lunch or dinner with a friend, meet up with your husband for a quick lunch date, or get out on your own. Your other joys may come in spurts, here and there, when you carve out that time. Grasp it and go for it! We all need our tanks refilled and our batteries recharged. You are an inspiring mother and woman and truly are blessed in so many ways!
ReplyDelete